


Sillyfic

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Crossover, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-27
Updated: 2006-03-27
Packaged: 2019-02-02 00:35:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12716148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: A champagne induced welcome back to Daniel. Inspired by several  recent fics posted to the group. A crossover with the Sentinel.





	Sillyfic

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

One minute Blair Sandburg was meditating in the Loft, the next he wasn't. One minute Daniel Jackson was working in his office at the SGC, the next he! wasn't.

The next thing both men knew was that they were sitting next to each other on a giant four poster bed in a strange room.

"Hi" said Daniel, "My name's Daniel Jackson. I'm a peaceful explorer from the planet Earth."

Blair gave him a strange look. "Must have ended up at the local lunatic asylum," he thought to himself. "Although why I should be having that sort of vision I don't know."

"I'm Blair Sandburg," he said carefully, because he didn't want to provoke a madman, although why he was worrying about that in a vision he didn't really know. "I'm from Earth as well," he added. "But I'm not sure what you're doing in my vision."

"Your vision?" Daniel exclaimed, "I thought I was on an Asgard ship. I thought that Thor had finally decided that I could be of some use to him!"

His voice trailed off as the door opened and in stepped the author of this epic masterpiece. Well, okay, the author of this wonderful story. Well, okay, if you have to be picky, the author of this piece of champagne induced mindless drivel. But hey, it's a story, alright?

Blair and Daniel looked at each other.

"Who are you?" they enquired in unison.

The author winced.

"No, Dannyboy," she said firmly. "The only person you are allowed to speak in unison with is the Colonel."

"It might have escaped your notice, but he's not here, "Daniel pointed out.

"Not yet" she replied cheerfully. "But he's getting ready to rescue you from deadly peril."

"I don't need rescuing," he said indignantly. "And I don't seem to be in peril, deadly or otherwise."

"I don't want to say anything out of turn," said Blair "But, who's the Colonel? And WHO ARE YOU???"

"The Colonel is Daniel's boss," replied the author. "And I am the author of this epic masterpiece. Okay this wonderful! oh,see above."

"He's not my boss," muttered Daniel "And what am I doing here and who is this Blair Sandwich?"

"SandBURG," said Blair exasperatedly. "And what am I doing here?" he added.

"Well, you're waiting for Jim to come and rescue you from deadly peril, of course," said the author, slightly puzzled. "These guys are supposed to be clever" she thought.

While her attention was elsewhere, Daniel and Blair were busy formulating a cunning plan. One that was far better than anything that Jack or Jim could think up. It was cunning enough to have been thought up by that master of all cunning plans, Baldrick. But, as he wasn't available, the boys had to work without him. Which was probably just as well, really!

"I've had plenty of experience of being a prisoner," Daniel said softly. "The best thing we can do is to try and make friends with her. Then she might let us escape without having to be rescued." He sighed, "I get so tired of needing to be rescued."

"I'm down with that, man," said Blair. "I mean, I'm grateful to Jim for all the times he has rescued me (and, by the way, I bet I've been held hostage or been a prisoner far more often than you have) but I am quite capable of taking care of myself."

"So, do you want to make nice with the author, then?" asked Daniel "She seems fairly reasonable (and I bet you haven't been a prisoner in Hell) and we need to try something pretty quickly."

The two men smiled at the author. Neither of them had the slightest idea that they were playing right into her hands.

"So," Blair said seductively, "What did you say your name was?"

"Ali, um, I mean Sarah (no that's been done twice already), no, Sam (no that's been done in both shows), uh, um, (think woman) Mary Sue. Yes that's my name, Mary Sue."

"That is such a beautiful name," said Blair. "Isn't it, Daniel?" 

"Right," said Daniel "And so original."

Blair glared at him.

"So what happens now?" Daniel asked hastily.

"Take off all your clothes and make yourselves comfortable on the bed," was the prompt response from the incredibly beautiful author. Well, okay, the quite pretty author. Well, alright, the extremely hung over author who really wants to crawl back into bed but needs to finish this wonderful/brilliant/stupid story off before she kills any more brain cells.

"Take off all our clothes???" gasped Daniel and Blair (in unison, again).

"Now Daniel, what did I say about you speaking in unison with anyone other than Jack?" enquired the author.

Daniel hung his head. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

The author forgave him on the spot. How could she not?

Suddenly, the door to the room burst open and two big buff men burst in (another one of the author's fantasies, but not as good as the naked Blair and Daniel one).

"No" she wailed. "Go away, I'm not ready for you yet."

"I'm sorry," Jack said softly. "I hate to spoil your fun but Danny is needed. He's coming back to SG1, where he belongs."

The author gazed into Jack's chocolate brown eyes for a moment allowing herself to melt away (though it's a shame about the grey hair), then her own big blue eyes filled with tears. "Okay, I guess you (I mean SG1) need him more than I do."

She waved her hand and both Daniel and Jack disappeared.

"At least I've got you two," she said, turning to the Sentinel and Guide pairing.

"Well ma'am," said Jim firmly (but politely). "I hate to be a spoilsport but I really don't think we can stay here."

"Why not?" asked the author, with a provocative pout. Okay, a charming frown. Okay, just pouting and frowning.

"There's a move afoot to get the Sentinel released on DVD and Blair and I really should get involved. Shouldn't we Chief?" Jim said, edging his partner towards the door.

"I thought that was Henri Brown's project," said the author.

"It is," said Blair, puzzled by the turn the conversation was taking.

"Well, yes," said Jim. "Blair's supposed to be clever" he thought. "But you never know, he might need our help," he added, surreptitiously kicking his partner.

This time the tears fell from the author's beautiful blue eyes. It looked as if none of her fantasies were going to come true. At least not today. But she had the future to look forward to. A future that included a brand new season of Stargate SG1, which she would actually be able to watch. And the vague possibility of some Sentinel DVDs (although she would have to buy a multi regional DVD player 'cos her computer only played European DVDs and she would be prepared to bet loads of money, if she was a betting person, which she wasn't, that the DVDs would only be in the American format and that wasn't fair well, maybe it was because TS hadn't been shown in the UK for some reason and it was an American show, and she was beginning to ramble here so! deep breath and finish the story) which she would really enjoy watching as they would be of better quality than her video tapes.

She took a minute to compose herself, took a deep cleansing breath, then turned and smiled at the two remaining men.

"Of course," she said graciously. "If you feel that one of your colleagues needs you, then what right have I to keep you here? Until we meet again!"

Another wave of her hand and they too were gone.

"What do I do now?" the author thought. "Of course, where are my manners?"

She opened a new word document on her computer.

"Dear Mr. Wright, Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!"

the end


End file.
